Well here we are in the week before Christmas once again and it’s a bit of a cliche to say “Where has the year gone?!!” but we all seem to do it. Anyway, I refuse to repeat that and have decided to just get on with it.
Most people have experienced the loss of a loved one — often it is a grandparent or older member of the family or a friend. For me it is coming into the twenty-second Christmas since Kelly left us, and whilst the pain has faded somewhat, she is still missed enormously. The first year I remember crying most of the day and recalling the last Christmas we had with her. As the years have passed it has certainly become easier, yet that underlying sadness remains.
We used to always celebrate Kelly’s birthday and the anniversary of her death together as a family. But over the past few years that has stopped, yet we each celebrate or mark the occasion individually. Once part of the family moved interstate it became impossible, and now that they are close by again it still isn’t a thing because we aren’t on the list of people to talk to!
So now we each do our own thing, which is fine because I guess some memories are really personal. But on Christmas Day we will raise a glass for Kell, and this year we will have my nephew and his family so my brother will be included in the toast.
Of course, it is the little ones who really make the day special — plus the company of close family and friends. We make such a big deal of it preparing enough food for twice the number of people actually coming. Then we eat so much that we’re in a food coma for a good part of the afternoon. But I still love this time of the year as people seem to be more friendly — we wish perfect strangers Merry Christmas, and are generally more cheerful.
So even though I realise the thoughts of those who have left us cannot be truly known, I’d like to think that they don’t wish to be the ‘Bah Humbug’ of our Christmas.
Thus my intentions this year are to remember those who have left us fondly and with a tinge of sadness, but not let myself be overwhelmed with grief. After all, life truly is for the living and if we focus on those who have left us, then there won’t be enough time to appreciate who and what we have now.
Happy Christmas. xxx