Much has been talked about this subject over the past weeks, and a lot of the discussion is purely supposition. Those who participate are probably not in the lonely category as they are the voices we hear. I believe that the true lonely ones will most likely not talk about their situation — possibly seeing an admission of that type to be a weakness.
However there is nothing weak about admitting you are lonely — in truth it takes courage to voice that kind of feeling. And yes, you can be lonely in a crowd of people which can be overwhelming.. But what does it mean to be lonely? The dictionary states ‘affected with, characterised by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, support etc’ The definition of alone suggests ‘separate, apart, or isolated form others‘. They are similar, yet very different. You can choose to be alone for various reasons yet loneliness is a state where you may see that there is no choice and that brings with it a whole other type of conversation.
Now most of us are in some form of isolation — that is the one’s who don’t have essential service work to leave home for. Some of us are fortunate to have some company at this time, or you might say you have too much company if the whole family is included.
So whichever your circumstance, there are ways to manage your loneliness and to reduce moving to the state of despair — and even suicidal thoughts.
Some suggestions for this are: Get dressed in the morning — have a shower then choose your clothes for the day. Dress as if someone may visit or might see you in an online meeting —and in a way that doesn’t make you feel down. Don’t stay in your pyjamas all day, because then there is no separation from night and day. It’s okay to have a pj day every now and then — it can even be therapeutic. There is a group on Facebook that are posting photos and videos of themselves dressing up to take out the bins — which makes it a bit of fun and gives something to think about.
Then you could do a meal plan for the week, search for some recipes you’ve thought about trying but never seemed to have the time. Put some effort into the preparation because it is for an important person — yourself. There are a couple of interesting cooking series made specifically for this time of isolation using ingredients you’ll have in your pantry — look up Jamie Oliver and Maggie Beer.
So whilst we haven’t had much choice about our isolation, there are many ways to make it tolerable. I am blessed to have company at this time, but we manage to go our separate ways throughout the day. Each of us has tasks we are enjoying and some of these are one’s I’ve been putting off for a ‘rainy day’. And now that my rainy day has arrived I am amazed at what I’ve achieved over the past three weeks. I also have more little jobs lined up to do when it is raining and I can’t get outside. One of my major achievements is cleaning out the shed which is not finished by any means, yet it has been so satisfying to see. Very productive when the bins go out full to the brim — Ross spent a day ‘cleaning’ in the shed a couple of weeks ago and didn’t put anything in the bin — nothing at all !
But above all if you are feeling depressed and lonely please reach out to someone — there are many phone services to help you. Or call a friend — bit the bullet and tell them you are feeling lonely and depressed. You might be amazed at how uplifting it can be just having a conversation.
So call someone today as you might just be what they needed to hear or it may make you feel a little less isolated. #copingsuicide #thoughtleader