The first verse of the seventeenth-century poet John Donne is still relevant in our society today: No man is an island Entire of itself; Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main.
Our world is much faster-paced today than it was in John Donne’s day, but the sentiment still applies. There are stories of people living as hermits, without contact with the outer world. They were able to live in simplicity and not need anyone else. It was possible to exist by growing food, hunting, and so forth. Hard to imagine living a life without other people in it. Without human touch.
I was a solitary child due to circumstances, and I’m quite happy to spend time on my own yet I still need people. As I wrote last week we probably all need solitude at some stage, but we also need company. People around us; people to talk to; people that help us cope with the fast pace of life as it is today. I love to escape from the world with a good (or bad) book — it was always a guilty pleasure. Now that I’m retired it is a pastime that I can do without feeling guilty anymore. The dishes will get done sometime today, as will the floors and all other housework — there is no urgency for me anymore. But it is taking a long time to get out of the habit of rushing to get it all done before I have to go back to work.
Whilst I can spend time alone quite easily, spending time with family and friends is really enjoyable. Because as John Donne said — we are all part of the continent, a part of the main. We make a difference in other people’s lives just by being there with them. Other people make a difference in our lives too — something that we discovered during the lockdowns. Some people coped very well with only their devices and television to keep them company. Others found it extremely difficult without human contact. I recall reading about babies in an orphanage following a was where there was minimal human contact and they failed to thrive. We are designed to need and connect with other people — it is part of our make-up. A design feature if you will. But it’s a good one.
I meet a couple of friends for coffee and a chat every week and it doesn’t matter how I feel before we get together, I always feel so much lighter and brighter afterward. And this can last for days — that feeling that I make a difference, because surely if they make such a difference to me, then I must make a difference to them? I’d like to think so because being part of the human race I need to be needed. We all do.