There are many strange ups and downs in life, and we often get bombarded with all sorts of issues. I’ve been missing in action for the past few months because of some of these.
The initial reaction to a problem is to attempt to solve it before asking for help. Been there, done that — should also have the T-shirt to go with it. So then we took the ‘get help’ — great option. However we are still in the process of dealing with this issue, and hopefully, this year will see it resolved.
I’m not complaining because I see hiccups of this sort are a necessary part of life, and how you deal with them is the most important thing. So the first option is to go down the path of “Why me?” but that is a neverending spiral to the bottom. Then you can just feel sorry for yourself, feeling that life isn’t fair and you shouldn’t have to go through all this shit.
So yes, I’ve done both those things, and then I stopped and looked at my life and asked myself a few questions.
Firstly I had to acknowledge just how fortunate I am — I have a roof over my head; food in my cupboard; electricity and so on, plus I have a great support network of friends. Not everyone can say that.
It’s an old adage that friends are the family you choose for yourself, and I’ve chosen some amazing people. People that I can count on to support me, comfort me, and just be there whenever I need them. These are the people that have kept me from spiraling down into the suicidal realm. Of course, I also have some truly wonderful family support and I certainly do not take that for granted.
Over the past few weeks, I have been drawn to the Serenity Prayer — which is odd because I’m not one to turn to religion for help due to an overabundance in my childhood. The first verse appealed the most —
‘..Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change, Courage to Change the Things I Can & the Wisdom to Know the Difference..’
So I’ve found that reminding myself of this helps enormously — and once I accept that there are things I cannot change and things I can, life settles into a form of normalcy once more.
When Kelly died, it took some time to recognise that there was nothing I could do to bring her back. Simply accepting that made her death much easier to live with. It doesn’t mean that everything is rosy again, but certainly easier.
Now I’m not suggesting that I’m full of wisdom, however having been around the block a few times, there are some things I’ve learned about life.
So what is there in your life do you need to accept and then move on? I still have down days where I can’t seem to get out of my way, but if I can recognise these, acknowledge them, and allow myself to wallow for a bit — then I find they dissipate very quickly.
Just try it and see what happens — it can be rather amazing.