Over the weekend I was working in my casual retail position and struck up a conversation with a customer. Knowing of my association with writing and suicide prevention, she was telling me of a time some years ago when she’d had a ‘brush with cancer’ as she termed it. At the time she was working with a group of like-minded health professionals and who were aiming to be support for each other in times of crisis. She spoke of a day when feeling very low, when she had made a call to one of her support group and left a message about her state of mind. Reading between the lines she was at the end of her tether and considering ending her life because it was all too hard. So she’d reached out for some help. There was no response to her plea.
Somehow managing to rise above it and return to her work, many months later my customer spoke with the woman she had called for help. That woman said to her “About that phone call last year, I just wasn’t in a space to help anybody else at that time.” So she did nothing — not even a return call to say something along the lines of “Sorry but I’m not able to help you at the moment.’ Rather my customer was left feeling alone and unsupported in addition to being at rock bottom.
It takes real courage to actually pick up the phone and ask someone for help. That help doesn’t need to be anything major, just the simple act of listening can make a world of difference. I couldn’t help but wonder what that ‘friend’ would have done or felt if my customer had actually followed through and taken her own life. Would she have felt anything more than how sad but that it wasn’t her problem after all.
I’d like to think that most people will be there to help if they can and that only a small percentage of the population wouldn’t bother. When I was at one of my gym classes this week, I stopped and went to the back of the room to get a drink and take a breather. There was a woman nearby who turned to me and asked if I was all right. I didn’t know her except by sight and we’ve never been introduced, yet she cared enough to ask.
It really doesn’t take a lot to be there for someone in a time of need, and when that person has been brave enough to ask for help surely we can take a little time to listen. Because you might never know if you have saved a life, but if you can show a little care then you may well do so.