Many and varied myths and stigmas have been associated with suicide over the centuries, but gradually we are beginning to discuss the subject more openly. Once, it was a dreadful shame to have a family member suicide and people went to great lengths to disguise that fact so that their loved ones could be buried on sacred ground, in a church graveyard. But now, thank goodness much of that has disappeared and we can acknowledge suicide.
Families have felt shame and embarrassment for losing a loved one to suicide, but now we can talk about it and can be more matter-of-fact about it. Suicide statistics are collected every year, but there are very stringent guidelines before anyone is added to that list. This leaves us with many unexplained deaths that could probably reasonably be attributed to suicide, yet I don’t think any of this matters.
Simply put, a loved one dies and we mourn them. Unlike death from a motor vehicle accident or a farming accident, death by suicide is still seen as something to be discussed, trying to apportion the blame somewhere. Suicide has also been seen as cowardice because that person was unable to face the world and left their family behind etc.
I see it as something that must take an enormous amount of courage to carry out. I believe it is a result of someone being in so much pain that they cannot function in this life anymore. And I also believe that many are misguided in thinking that those of us left behind will be better off without them Without them and their burdens.
There have been accounts from people who have attempted suicide — and failed — telling of their gratitude that they had been unsuccessful. Once they were able to get through the worst times, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. There was a new sense of purpose that had been missing or unseen when they were suicidal.
Many of us are feeling the pinch financially during these uncertain times, and there will be some amongst us who may think that removing themselves from the world would be the best answer to their problems. We need to be on the lookout for those people — friends, family, work colleagues. We need to be alert and listen for the language that could signal the potential for suicide, and then we need to ask the hard questions. It has just been announced in my city that there will be a large number of jobs disappearing in the coming months. When you add a job loss to an already struggling financial situation it can be disastrous.
It is difficult to ask someone if they are thinking of suicide. It’s a very personal question, yet I’d rather be embarrassed for asking and be wrong, than not asking and having to attend a funeral.
We all have a contribution of some sort to this world, even though at times it seems very difficult to see. All of us would be missed if we weren’t here anymore. And most problems can be solved when they are shared with others — often they don’t seem too bad once we do discuss them. Most importantly we need to get them help, even if we feel inadequate in this area. Plus there are many trained counselors and advisors who are trained to help in this area.
We can get very focused on our own issues and problems, and not notice that someone close by may be struggling mentally. There will always be someone worse off than you and I am very grateful to have a roof over my head and food in my cupboard — because there are too many now who don’t.