A couple of months ago I mentioned I’d had a run in with a ‘friend’ — who on reflection really should be placed into the category of acquaintance. However at that time I considered her a friend until her insensitive comments made me aware that she wasn’t. True friends consider your feelings, and point out with sensitivity if they feel you need to be made aware of something they see as not being okay. That’s what friends are for.
I also mentioned the dark hole I found myself in a few days after that conversation. So in the interest of understanding why this occurred, I did some exploring and soul searching to find out why this happened. Mostly I’d prefer to just ignore it all and keep on with my life. But this time I decided I needed to find out why, so that if it ever happens again there will be some way of dealing with it in an easier way.
In the course of my explorations, I discovered a link to when I was a small child and used to hide in the linen cupboard. I believe that I did this so I couldn’t be seen or heard, and when life was just a bit too scary for a little girl. It made sense and felt right so I’m running with that. But it took some digging before I made the connection and had the lightbulb moment.
So then I came to another realisation — there are definitely some shining lights around me who help when times are tough and you need support. These are the true friends who you can count on day in and out and really at any time. The girls I go for coffee with every Wednesday morning and where between the three of us, solve all the worlds problems before we say goodbye until next week. Then there are the other friends who I’ve known for several decades and are there for me whenever I need advice or comfort. The friends who I may not see or speak to for several weeks but know that they are always there should I need them — and if they need me too.
So I have been counting my blessings since I came to the realisation that whilst there may be another dark hole to fall into, there are also always going to be the shining lights that I’m fortunate to have as friends.